i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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