best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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