Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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