she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
