i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Randomize
