Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
