Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
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