i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How does one acquire holy water?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
