No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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