You work out of a Hotel?
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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