He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
