Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
