bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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