So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
