i may or may not be watching the land before time
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
time to smoke my breakfast
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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