Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize