You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I just blew my weed a kiss
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
