why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
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