did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
