is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize