When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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