He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
