if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
We just shotgunned beers for America
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize