is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
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