it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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