seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
