I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Randomize
