Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
