i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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