just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
