my vag is so smooth its legendary
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
