so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
