I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
