11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
