K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
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