I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
