She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Randomize
