About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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