That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize
