so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
you would pick up someone in the library
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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