i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
