i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
