I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
