my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
