its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
