is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
