I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
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