he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
They have beer where we have blood.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
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