So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
