I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
We named our party play list daddy issues
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
