I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Randomize