we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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