i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
