Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
