I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
