You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
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