I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
