Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
