My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
