Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
