holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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