What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
