in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize