I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
