you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
